I walked out of the enormous baby expo with a bunch of products that I didn’t even need and not 1 single tool about how I was going to navigate this next chapter of motherhood….having a baby AND a toddler. I wanted someone to teach me how I was going to manage to meet everyone’s needs, how to get some sleep, how I was going to get my step son to school on time….I wanted someone to hold my hand and tell me it was going to be ok. Because I was freaking out.
And then the baby was born and I was in the trenches. As one of the first of my close friends to have a second child, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. The toddler wanted me, the baby wanted me, I wanted me (and my husband wanted me!) and everyone still wanted dinner and clean clothes.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me about becoming a mama, again:
- Breastfeeding is probably going to be different. If you had an easy first experience, your second might be tricky. If you had a hard first breastfeeding experience, your first might be a breeze. I didn’t know breastfeeding was going to be so, so hard the second time.
- My toddler’s behaviour was going to go haywire when his sister was born. The haywire behavior was going to last more than a few weeks and we were going to experience wild meltdowns, major clinginess and so many tears.
- The first time you see your older kids after the baby’s born, they will seem like they tripled in size overnight.
- That you can have a great bond with your baby and still be diagnosed with post natal depression.
- That recovering from birth may take months. And that I should’ve gone to see a physio much earlier than I did. I didn’t go because I didn’t know.
- That it’s ok to admit you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing and to ask for advice, help and support.
- That every time you add another child to the family, there will be a period of adjustment for older kids.
- How to meet everyone’s needs and still have dinner on the table before midnight. And how to accept the nights when cereal is just going to have to do.
There are so many resources for becoming a parent for the first time. But the second time? You should know what you’re doing, right?
Except it’s different. Mothering 1 child has it’s own joys and challenges. Mothering a newborn and a toddler? A whole other set. Mothering a newborn, a toddler AND a child at school? Pass the coffee please!!
Join us for BECOMING MAMA. AGAIN.
Bringing you the parenting, emotional and practical toolkit to navigate your new season of motherhood with more than one child.
Mim is a motherhood mentor, mama to 3, step mum to 1, Co-Founder of MummyCon and a firm believe in really good coffee. She likes to do #allthethings and thrives on colour coding and labelling. She is passionate about helping mums to ditch the mum guilt, practise intentional gratitude and trust their mama instincts.